In a spectacle that blurred the line between high-stakes government oversight and a late-night comedy routine, official testimony presented on September 7, 2026, revealed that over a thousand recipients of secret Philippine government funds appear to exist only on paper—and in vending machines. During ongoing impeachment proceedings against Vice President Sara Duterte, the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) confirmed that 1,685 individuals listed on payout receipts had no birth, marriage, or death records anywhere in the national civil registry.
Assistant National Statistician Marizza Grande testified before the Senate trial that after exhaustively cross-referencing state databases, the agency concluded that a massive chunk of payee identities were entirely fictitious. Among the most infamous names discovered on the government expense vouchers was 'Mary Grace Piattos'—a moniker seemingly mashed together from a popular Filipino bakery chain and a brand of potato chips—alongside other suspicious entries that mimicked snacks, pets, and wordplay.
While defense representatives previously suggested that the unusual names were confidential aliases assigned to covert informants for safety reasons, prosecutors argued that the complete absence of civil records points to widespread phantom paper-trail creation. The revelation that millions of pesos in public funds were signed off to imaginary citizens with snack-inspired names left lawmakers and the public grappling with one of the most surreal financial scandals in recent memory.